When I was in High School, I was a bit of a judger and I knew it. I didn't like judging people but I just thought everyone was so stupid and their trivial high school relationship problems bored me and were so childish I thought. There was always someone crying over some boy and people mad at each other. Truthfully, that was just too much energy for me.
However, I knew that judging these people was wrong and I really worked to "understand" as opposed to to critic them.
A big difference for me was to realize that not everyone comes from your background. Not everyone has lived the way you have. Some have been put down their whole life and therefore feel the need to seek attention somewhere else. Others were always praised within their family and treated like a god as a child, therefore they act spoiled or like royalty thinking everything should revolve around them because it actually has most of their life.
For me, this realization allowed me to stop looking at other people and expecting them to act and agree and believe the same things I do. I was raised in a loving family and although I didn't always get along with my siblings I knew they cared, deep, deep down sometimes. But again, even the three of us grew up differently, around different friends, as either the oldest, middle, or youngest which does have an effect.
The reason I bring this up is to have you examine your own life. How were you raised? Who were your friends? Where did you live? Realize that a lot of the people you are constantly judging have been in completely different situations than you and you can't expect someone to "behave like a lady" if that's not the example they've had or the friends they grew up around. I just caution you against judging people in a way that you push everyone out of your life. Being around judgmental people is exhausting and it's hard because you never feel like you can open up to them about anything.
However, on the flip side, this doesn't give people the right to behave however they want. People always say to me "Don't judge me" or I hear "Do you think Liz will mind" because I have guidelines I live my life by. I may not "agree" with what you are doing, but I ask, why do you care so much if I approve of what your doing? If it is something you think is right or want to do, my thoughts on it shouldn't matter to you. That is unless my presence calls to attention that whatever you are doing or about to do, you actually think may be wrong and your subconscious cares. Otherwise, you should own your decisions. I don't drink and I am sure I've been judged by people. I am waiting till marriage for sex, and I KNOW I've been judged for that. However, I am not embarrassed or ashamed to be judged for either of those decisions because I own them and I don't care.
Ask yourself why you care so much what others think of the decisions you are making. If it's something you don't want to be judged for, maybe it's that little voice in your head telling you, you shouldn't be doing it anyway.
I won't judge you because we've grown up completely different and I realize that, but why do you care so much what I, or anyone else, thinks? It's just what Liz wants to know?
PS FUNNY STORY INSERTED HERE:
Onto Friday's funny story that I never got around to posting.
The program I am in is gracious enough to buy us tickets for programs each month (actually we prepaid for them, but if your school has a swipe card, it's the same idea of it feels like your not paying, even though you totally already did).
Last month we got to go see Wicked and this month they got us tickets to a comedy show called Comedy Strip Live. Well our adviser sent the list of students that were attending and only 5 out of the 8 students were signed up (this is weird to me because they don't give you the money back and you basically already paid for it! Just go!). So one of the girls I was friends with I called and begged her to not back out and we agreed that we were gonna go and enjoy this. It's a good thing I called because we ended up getting a text that one of the other girls dropped out. Down to four people now, three girls and one guy who none of us really know.
So I call the one girl to see if she found a replacement for our extra ticket and she tells me that she thinks she's not going to go either now! So we have two extra tickets. Meanwhile me and Amanda are calling people like crazy trying to find someone to replace just one ticket, and now we have two.
We initially go around the floor and offer them to anyone, but it's a Friday night around 7:15, we are leaving in 15 minutes and everyone else already basically has plans. So I start venturing to the other floors. (5-11 are residential floors, I live on 6). I go up to the 7th floor and decide to just walk into every kitchen because that is less awkward than bathrooms and hopefully there are people cooking. I find a girl who is obviously doing hw and offer her the tickets but she says she doesn't think she would be available in time but appreciates the offer, aight next floor.
Next floor is a guys floor and I walk into the kitchen and see this couple making food. I offer them the tickets and he looks at her like, I wanna go but it's your decision. He asks "What do you think?" She very abruptly goes, "I don't think our food will be ready in time" Nothing else. So I leave.
Next floor up, no one.
Next floor, a sketchy character, no sketchy characters for us that night, no offer.
I think I make it all the way up to the 11th floor with no luck and instead of being healthy and just taking the stairs to the 6th I take the elevator, where a guy gets on and I very randomly, but fast (cuz I only have 3 floors!) ask him if him and a friend would want to go to a comedy club. I definitely caught him off guard but he baffled says he'd ask. So we go back up to his floor and he goes around asking 2 of his friends if they'd want to go. He was going to the gym and we are literally about to leave in like 15 mins.
He apologizes because none of his friends can go and I kindly tell him that if he finds someone to come let us know, I am in the devil room (or 666) and to find us.
So I sit in Amanda's room, calling people trying to figure out what to do and literally like 10 minutes later, the kid comes down and says his Spanish friend will go. hahaha So we found people to go with us, randomly as I gallivant around the de Hirsch center floors and elevator.
We ended up all having fun at the comedy club and his Spanish friend asked, so how do you guys all know each other, to which Amanda says, they just met on an elevator like 10 minutes ago. hahaha To funny. so here is to knew friends and to meeting them in odd places on a quest to not have tickets go to waste.
No comments:
Post a Comment