a positve outlook

I am a bit of a complainer. Okay, I LIKE to complain and I always justify it by saying that I'm just "venting". No I am complaining and I wish I knew why I did this so much. My dad is great at keeping me in check and telling me to stop acting like a baby, which I appreciate, it's nice to know that I can count on him to always tell what I need to hear, not necessarily want to hear. I was really thinking about this last night because I realize I was probably sounding ungrateful to people around me and I realized that I was letting my expectations for a situation control my mood and attitude. So I found a verse  in the Bible (what I usually do when I know I need to work on something) and I brought it around with me all day; Ephesians 4:29 "Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them." My goal today was to be positive, thankful, smile a lot, and try to make other people feel good. I think I succeeded for the most part, I had a new energy at my internship that I had lost recently and I felt energized all day. I need to remember that I may not necessarily always like WHAT I'm doing but I need to show that I am grateful for the opportunity. It's kind of funny to because that verse combined with my devotional for the day (which talked about love "Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sings" 1 Peter 4:8) helped me be positive all day. One of the producers commented that I was always smiling which in retrospect was God telling me to keep on keeping on with this attitude, not my whoa is me I am so unfortunate tude. I realize that if everyone just had a positive attitude in life, things would be great, people would be nice, and the little things wouldn't seem to matter as much because it wouldn't be the last link in sweater that just unraveled. We would be able to keep our emotions in check and not let the whole sweater unravel so we end up being rude, down, mean or any other negative term towards other people. So what Liz wants if for people to really grab a hold of being positive for a day, truly seriously positive, and see if it makes a difference in their attitude.

Unplugged

Funny stories for today.. this is just what I saw, heard and experienced.

Sub ride back from Erica's - A lady and her son were sitting next to me and I heard her telling her son she was lucky that the police came because she would beat that women up. She also said something along the lines of about how she was telling other people how would they know, maybe her son has a gun, how do they know he wouldn't pull it out. Seriously, this mom was crazy. Her son was just laughing, I was laughing at them. I had to zip my coat up past my mouth so I could giggle underneath it. Well for that and because...

Same ride- Across from them where these three girls who got on the sub and wanted to sit next to each other, they asked this guy to move over but he shook his head in what seemed to be a no sentence. So this girl is talking over him asking, did he really just say no to scooting over, now I'm just gonna talk over him and be obnoxious. The crazy mom sitting next to me was laughing and saying that she doesn't know if he understood her. This girl is being crazy loud and like "No he understood he shook his head no, I can't believe he wouldn't just move over!" (he is sitting right next to her and he obviously has no clue what's going on!) Finally she stands up and asks again, the gentleman looks to the guy on my other side who makes the "move to your left" swoosh with his hands and the guy moves over. The lady on my right thinks she is the one who got him to move. People, this poor guy had no idea what was going on and he was being yelled at by these crazy girls! I was seriously laughing so hard on my ride home.

MOVIES!

     Being in NYC has been good for me. Not necessarily how I pictured it would be because I always have expectations and I need to realize that is NEVER a good thing. You think NYC and you see glitz glamour and really great opportunities that could never happen in Ohio. Although this is true in certain sense, I am realizing that is not why I here. I am in NYC to learn how to work with people who are different than me, grow up and mature in myself and to come to grips with what I want in life. Now for those of you that know me, you know I am a high moral bar for myself but I also love film and the world of Hollywood, which to me, doesn't go together. However, while at my internship I am realizing that the direction of film and directing is my passion and I really think I have a calling in that direction more so than where I am at. I needed to be placed in this environment so I would learn not to settle for what I thought I could do as opposed to what I want to do. You always hear, go for your dream! I always said I would, but in the back of my head I felt that it was to lofty for me to try, maybe someone else, but not me. More and more I am realizing that I am in NYC to get out of this complacency in life and to decide once and for all that I am gonna try and do this. I keep reading stories through my research about strong women who work at the head of their companies, started their own, or now started a non profit and the only difference I see is that they had confidence and went for it and I am scared. Well I am going to get over that and decide that this is what I want.
     Coming to grips with this also has it's roots deep into WHY I want to direct films. I want to help create films that have positive morals and films that are real, that show life as it truly is with the consequences that do exist for people's actions. Too many movies show these CRAZY circumstances and the protagonist of the story always gets away with what ever illegal thing they did, I think children and people need to see life as it really is. See real heroes. So that is my passion within film. People may tell me "well that's not what the consumer wants to see" but I don't buy that. I've meet plenty of people who have encouraged me and said that is exactly what they need. Does the audience decide what the studios create or does the studios create  what the audience wants? Who is influencing who? Are you to tell me that they wanted to go from the Cosby show to Nip Tuck? I think we are passive consumer's and therefore the studio get away with putting crap on our television's and at our theaters. What Liz Wants, is to change that.

Unplugged

what happens when you pay attention to people

This section will be dedicated to riding the public transportation in my life w/o headphones and the people/stories/things I've experienced. Granted I've only been riding for 1 month, but I've already meet cool people.. So this will be a recap thus far

-Bus to work, A guy who used to represent Johnny Cash and who owns three restaurants in NYC, he was a super nice guys and so friendly. PS the company he worked for now represents The Kardashians, two guys bought it from him and his business partners.

-Bus back from work- A guy who has traveled all around and lived in Argentina, he was giving me good jazz clubs and places to visit whilst I was here.

-Sub back from Church- A family who had 2 children. Both adorable. The little boy had a Charlie doll (on Disney, Charlie and Lola). The mom didn't know that people here watched that, thought it was just a British thing but I quickly told her, O no mam, I am obsessed with Disney and know all the shows! He also had a little Whinnie the Pooh in a bunny costume. They were adorable. The little girl stood up and started unzipping her coat to show me her pretty dress and tights(which I said was soo pretty), this resulted in the little boy turning around to me to show me his nice dress shirt underneath. They also told me their names and age and were a breath of fresh air from all the snobby children in the world. Loved them and the family.

-Sub back from Brooklyn- I was reading a book by Sidney Lumet called "Making Movies" and this couple walked on. He was obviously upset about something and I was trying not to easedrop even though they were right in front of me and he was sitting next to me. However, I clearly heard her say something about how God will take care of his (obviously I heard that) to which I looked up and nodded my head. He said he knew God would, but was still just down. They asked me what I was reading and asked if I wanted to make movies, so I explained my dream and they were so encouraging telling me how it is nice to know that people still have morals and want to create movies with good honest content. We joked about MTV's new show "Skins" which DOES NOT represent anything real in my High School days, although they said it is supposed to. They told me I had pretty eyes and were so encouraging and seriously adorable. Never got their names, but they were awesome, young and they made me smile.

Weightless doesn't equal worthiness

      It's funny how certain situations can make you feel inept. Today, I was in one of those situations. I found myself in the midst of a fashion icon feeling totally and completely incompetent in my dark blue jeans and casual attire around all these tall, thin, models and workers. I am not one to have low self esteem, but in situations such as these, it's hard not to when all you think is "if only i was skinnier, taller, tanner, (the list goes on)" Every women I feel like deals with these issues and yet we encourage them. Yes we all read and talk about all the articles that discuss not having anorexic models, or making actresses more "normal" (w/e that is), yet we are all trying to find the next diet or the next detox system. Why can't we just be happy being ourselves? I am not pointing a finger at anyone because this is a call to me as well. Why did I let this bother me? Why was my first though "I need to lose weight"? I work out regularly, I eat healthy, and I take care of my body (as in I don't drink/smoke/do drugs) so why do I let them get to me so much? Now imagine a girl 10 years younger than me, no wonder our teenage girls have such self esteem issues. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying over indulge, you have to be healthy but because I will never be a size 2 in my life doesn't mean I am not healthy. It seems like being skinny is everything to women these days and I would like being healthy to be our main focus. I’ve always been concerned about how I looked because I want to be in film and TV and always thought I would never get in so I just obsessed instead of doing anything. This beauty thing really gets to people and what Liz wants, if for women, girls, and people of every background to be healthy, not skinny.

What Liz Wants; the beginning

    Well, I read a blog the other day called "What men want" and I decided, well I could have written that! So I decided that I am witty and funny and people probably want to know what women want since they are always complaining about how we are confusing and what not. Well, as I started thinking, I realized, I am NOT most, if not almost all Women, I am unique and therefore I cannot speak for ALL women, just me; hence why this is entitle what LIZ wants. Much more correct. So today I will start with a unique topic, the subway.
     I want people for one day to ride the subway (or public transportation in general) without their electronics. Ladies, we always complain how hard it is to meet men or a nice guy outside of scenes that aren't conducive for quality males. We always hear about "well me and your mom meet... blah blah blah" and it is usually in some public random place. It is quiet impossible to meet people like "the olden days" if we are all consumed in our music/games/facebook/twitter and the list goes on. No one will ever approach you or talk to you when you seem to not care because you can are so consumed by a product. I mean just the other day I met a lady who said she met her husband at the gym, I'm pretty sure I just listen to music and avoid eye contact with everyone there... Hey this is just a thought. The last two times I decided to put my MP3 player (yes I don't have an Ipod, I am rebelling economically) away on the bus, I met an older gentleman who represented Johny Cash and whose business was bought by two gentlemen who now represent the Kardashians. Seriously. Imagine if I had my headphones in and ignored him completely, I wouldn't have had such a fun conversation with this man. Anyway, this is just what Liz wants, who knows if anyone agrees.