HOW do you know?

Many people ask me that question.

How do you know you don't look like a fool in those pink tights?
How do you know what sub to get on in NYC?
How do you know where the sales are!?

How do you know Christianity and Jesus are "right"?

In this blog, I intend to answer that last question.

You see, many people think it is "intolerant" for me to say and believe that Jesus is the only way to heaven... and yet I still believe it. It's not intolerant of me actually, intolerance is me not listening to your side and not trying to understand who you are and where you are coming from. If we took this attitude of "everyone is right" then I say 2x2 is 10, not 4 and you are intolerant if you tell me I'm wrong!

John 14:6

 ⁶ Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

I'm not going to try and convince you I am write here, I just want you to understand WHY I believe this and WHY it's so hard for others to understand.

You see it is like riding a roller coaster. People can ask you how it was and you explain by saying, it's so fast, and the wind whips through your hair, and man that first drop always takes your breath away, but if they have never actually been on a roller coaster, they are never going to understand, they are going to try to have to understand it through your experience and your feelings and the way you experienced it.

It's like that with faith. People ask me, how do you know your faith is the right one, I can try to explain how I know God is real and how I know Jesus existed (not only because there is significant proof not in the Bible) but that I do believe he died and rose again to forgive me of my sins. Unless, you yourself are seeking God and trying to understand, you aren't ever going to get understand.

Jeremiah 19:13
¹³ You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

You see, there are a couple key differences to me that make Christianity and Jesus stand out among the rest.

a.) It is a RELATIONSHIP with Jesus that I as a Christian have. That's why I don't like saying my religion, because that sounds like a list of does and don'ts. I have a personal relationship with Jesus whom I seek guidance from, share my life with, and whom I go straight to. Other religions is all fear based, they fear their god/gods and do not have a trust with him. I fear Jesus, but out of respect, like a Father; you don't do thinks that will piss of your Dad because you respect him and trust him, same with God for me. Jesus isn't the might smitter that people make him out to be. Don't get me wrong, he is a Just God, but I don't think he will be sending lighting bolts down anytime soon.

b.) No other "god" ever did anything to reach out to the people they supposedly created, do you see Shiva or Budda trying to come back and pay for the sins of the people here? No. Jesus is the only one who cared enough about man kind and man kind's eternal being to breach that level.

c.) Christianity is the only religion, when brought into tribes that increases morality and the quality of living. I know people say, well what about all those tribes of people who don't know God, and I can't answer for that, I have to trust that God knows what he is doing. He has said in numerous places that his law is written on our hearts.
I will put my law within them, and I will write it upon their hearts; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. And no longer shall each man teach his neighbor and each his brother, saying, 'Know the LORD,' for they shall all know me, from the least of them to the greatest, says the LORD; for I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more.  Jeremiah 31:33b-34 
Therefore I believe that the people who have never heard of him will still know his law and it is with that, I believe God will judge them. But it is also our duty as his followers to take his word to the ends of the earth, the Great Commission found in Matthew 28:19-20;
¹⁹ Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, ²⁰ and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

People often think that I don't know what I am talking about or think I am crazy or ignorant, but I never wanted my faith to be my parents or to believe only because it was right in front on me, so I did my research in High School, I looked  up the other top religions in the world and I looked up cults to (juuusstt to make sure) and I have come to my conclusion. I KNOW that my faith is real and that my God is real. I may never be able to convince you of that, but I encourage to seek out the Lord for yourself. Research ALL religions, Jesus isn't scared, For it says in Jeremiah 29:13;
¹³ You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

The question I have for YOU is, are you seeking with your whole heart, or are you hoping a "faith" will just fall into your lap. 

Be proactive about this, I have a feeling it will be important one day. 


And I know there are people that think I'm crazy, but the good thing is God warned me about them too,
^{2 Corinthians 2:15-17
15} For we are to God the pleasing aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. ¹⁶ To the one we are an aroma that brings death; to the other, an aroma that brings life. And who is equal to such a task?
 
Am I sounding like death or life to you?

VSFS... and Guys

I love a good Fashion Show like anyone else and no I'm not one of those girls who boycotts the VSFS, I respect what they do, I think they are gorgeous, and I think it's entertaining.

What's more entertaining to me is everyone's reactions.

No I am not a size two, yes I know I have bigger hips, thighs and butt. I'm not blind. But I'm not about to beat myself up over it. I will never be a VS model so why should I compare myself to them. They could never be me either. There is about 1% of the WORLDS population that could be one of them, hence why they are from all over the world. I'm okay with that!

It's funny though reading people's tweets and FB status through the whole thing.

I love the girls who hate on themselves and swear to a diet right after.

I love the guys who tear down all the women around them by comparing them to these women.

But mostly, I LITERALLY love the guys who tweeted that we shouldn't want to be like them (not because they aren't beautiful) but because it is shallow of us to only want to be them BECAUSE they are good looking.

I respected that a lot.

All these other guys on Twitter and sitting there talking about girls with thunderthighs and how they should be working out instead of watching it. That made me angry. Way to contribute to most women's already low self-esteem.

And then I wonder, how are they going to treat their women. The guys who watch this and dis women for their appearances are shallow and will never be able to offer anything really deep to a relationship and for that I'm truly sorry to whoever they may be dating. What a wasted relationship checking your reflection constantly for imperfections instead of looking at what's beautiful about you.

These women are definitely beautiful. I am not here at all to hate on them. I love watching the VSFS, I think it is good entertainment.

I'm here to slap some sense into these females who always want to be someone else and look like something else. CONFIDENCE and self assurance is the sexiest thing I can think of for a person to wear.

And I'm here to slap some sense into the dudes who find it necessary to pick on everyone around them and belittle them. Learn to control your foolish comments because I'm afraid you may in turn affect the people around you that you say you care about.

The end is near. No not THAT end.

"Closing time - time for you to go out, go out into the world."

Such a prophetic line.

A lot of people use it to signal the end of a night. The end of college. The end of a trip, an experience, whatever the end is for you. Just remember the end of a rope leads to a huge open space where anything can go, you no longer have your life mapped out on this tiny line, instead there's a whole other world, off that mapped out course to explore.

As I end my experience here in NYC I ask myself, what was my "reason" for being here. You see I believe that I was lead to NYC this semester. A lot of decisions, applications, and periods of reflection of what I want my life to be went into deciding to do this. But I was also accepted here, I was accepted to my internship.

I honestly don't know what will come out of this experience job wise but I have taken away a lot bigger lessons, friends, and memories. 

You see the great thing is, I don't need to know RIGHT NOW what effect this will have on my life, as difficult as that is for me, being a planner and all.

One thing is for sure, it's going to make me approach my senior year much differently. I don't have a clearer vision of what I'm supposed to do in life, what my job will be essentially, but I know I can't figure it out if I don't build my skill set. I say I want to direct and people ask to see my films or my website and I just go "well I don't actually have any, yet"; a lot of good that does me. This summer and senior year, that's going to change.

My senior year will also be different because, I hate to say this, but I realize who matters to me. I've always liked being friends with everyone, and I still say being cordial is way better than being a brat, but I've definitely grown really close to some individuals although we barely knew each other. They put in the effort to call and stay in contact and ask me how everything was going and that meant a great deal to me. I know that sounds horrible, but it felt like I had graduated and I realized which people were going to try and stay in contact, a hard, but honest and much needed realization.

I also learned just HOW important family and God is too me. I know a lot of people don't believe in God or don't have close relationships with their family, but for me, that is honestly what got me through. Those are two constants in my life that have NEVER changed.

God is always there and when I was super home sick in the beginning reading the Bible was probably the only thing that encouraged me throughout the week. For the first two weeks I kid you not almost every daily devotional I read applied DIRECTLY to what I had been feeling that whole day and gave me hope and encouragement. I know people will say you were reading into it or you take what your looking for, but if you've never felt it than there's no way for me to even try and explain it.

My family was so awesome with me too, especially since I called every day, or twice a day, or more.

My dad, for letting me call and complain, ask for advice, talk to when I was down, in need of encouragement. Def the best man I know, I love how handy he is and how he's always there when I need him to give me Godly advice, I def need to find a guy like him!

My mom, for letting me call her at 1am when my tummy hurts and I don't know what meds to take, and for listening to me babble about my days and experiences. For letting me send her stupid articles that I read and for really caring about everything I do here. She def the mom that listens and with my big mouth, it's much appreicated. And for all the care packages! loved em!

My sis, because I always call her if I want an honest opinion on anything. I appreciate that she tells me exactly what she thinks because I trust her opinion otherwise I wouldn't ask. And we always grow closer when we are apart which is nice, it's fun to laugh over silly videos with her, share our confusion over hipsters and make fun of mom and dad and their forgetfullness.

My bro, for subtley encouraging me that I can get through this experience. That when I'm homesick, there are others who are far more homesick and helping me realize I can get through anything.

So you see, this ending, this closing time in NYC is just the beginning, come on you KNEW that was coming. It has taught me SO much. I have a clearer vision of what I need to do to prepare for my future. It's really hard now to leave. I've made a life here, with friends that I'm really going to miss.

It's hard because I don't know exactly where my future will lead me, but I'll never find out if I don't try. Rejection and failure is a fear of mine, so after I fall and fail a few times, I'm going to make sure that senior year, I conquer that fear, and learn how to encourage myself to succeed.

FOR-EV-ER Internet

Yes, it is 1:37 in the morning
Yes, I do have to be up in 7 and a half hours
Yes, I do have to work tomorrow
Yes, I was writing this blog in my head which is now why I am actually writing it. 
Yep, it is my fault, I had coffee past 3:00

Yes, we've all heard the saying "whatever you put on facebook will be there forever and can cause you trouble later" but what about the rest of the internet? I just thought after taking all of these ethics, journalist and media related seminars and what not I'd share some knowledge with ya'll.

SLANDER
First off did you know you can be sued for slander because of something you posted? It's truueee! Anything you write about on your twitter, blog, email, facebook can be used in the court of law if it is slanderous. I know a lot of this relates to cyber bullying but just calling someone a nasty name can end up in a law suit. For example the word "whore", honestly I know people use this word as slang, but in a court of law, that doesn't hold anything, look up the definition.

Here is a case of a mom suing over a PRIVATE facebook group.
Cyber bullying

EMAIL
And did you know emails can last FOREVER. Yep I learned today that they can be pulled up and out of the woodwork and used in a court of law. So if there is something sensitive you need to talk to someone about, do it over the phone or in person, unless you want that document to follow you around forever. I know I'm guilty of this, venting to someone about someone else because I'm frustrated.

PHOTOS
I just learned that a teacher who, although she was doing NOTHING legally wrong was asked to resign or be fired because of a picture on her Facebook, granit I'm pretty sure she is appealing it but still, her employer thought it was worthy enough to deserve this action. Be careful of ALL photos you post, and any you are tagged in. And even if you make sure you are okay, be mindful of your friends as well. Don't be afraid to ask someone to take down a picture or a post EVEN if you aren't doing ANYTHING wrong. I know first hand because although I don't drink, I may be in a picture with someone else who is and therefore I can look guilty by association. This one is hard even for me to come to grips with. I like some of those pictures because I think I look cute! But I have to ask myself right now, is it worth a future job?? And maybe my employer won't care, but obviously Ashley's did. 
Ashley's Story included on site

JOURNALISM
Another thing I found super interesting is for anyone who wants to be a journalist, and to be honest, I never thought of this but your job is to be completely biased, not only in your writing but in LIFE. I met a lady who said ever since she began voting she registered as an independant because she doesn't want anyone knowing who she may side for. She also spoke of a guy who went to some function of a friends (I think it was someone birthday) and it ended up being a rally against gun control, well he now can no longer write or report on ANYTHING related to guns because people COULD POSSIBLY say he had a bias. Just wearing a pin at an event is a no, no I found out. Welp, there goes my career! I'm pretty sure everyone knows where I stand and I'll just need to find a network that's okay with that. 

So know your job, know what is expected of you, AND WATCH WHAT YOU SAY ON ANY AND EVERY SITE!!!! People whose job it is, is to report are always looking up EVERYTHING so you may post a video or a blog and then decide two days later, well I should probably take that down, but someone somewhere may have already taken photos you posted, a screen shot of a blog, or somehow managed to save the video you posted. That person can always repost it. Things live FOREVER on the internet. So be careful.

I know I was freaked out about this today, who knows what I posted when I was 14 on myspace even though I deleted that page, do you know myspace keeps those and if I wanted to "reopen" my page, THEY HAVE IT SAVED!!! Yeah.


I just wanna help the good people who read my blog out in the cyber world. 


Hopefully I'll fall asleep now. It is 2:17 now and I have to get up at 9... hooray.

Opinonated? or annoying...

I'm starting to realize how annoying it is when people complain all the time. Sorry to whoever had to endure that from me in the past.

I fully believe that everyone is entitled to their opinions, honestly I do! How do I know mine is right if I'm not challenged by yours? It's even great as far as religion goes for me.

Religion
My church back in middle/high school use to be made fun of because it had no windows. People would say, that church is a cult (literally because there was no windows) and I use to get super offended by that. First off, just to clarify, we didn't have windows, because glass is expensive FYI but I digress. I began thinking, well a.) how do I know that what I believe in is right and b.) what if I was in a cult! People in cults rarely know and what if I was brainwashed! So I absolutely loved looking into other religions and figuring out the differences between mine and theirs. I looked into famous cults and even did a research paper in post secondary on them for my sociology class. I got to interview a couple that had left a cult and really learned so much. It was fascinating and quiet creepy. You see part of a cult is not being able to question leadership and authority. It's blindly accepting everything they say, or be punished. Well as my dad and other can attest, I NEVER accept things and I ALWAYS question. So I appreciated everyone's criticism because it helped me really look out for what I was raised into. Did I believe in God because my dad was a Pastor and blindly accepted it, or did I take him on as my own personal God? I never wanted to be foolish in these important matters.

Open Dialogue
You see, when people question things like my faith or my political stance, I honestly enjoy it. Not in a "I want to prove you wrong way" but in a "okay let's talk about this". I'll admit I don't know everything about either subject because there is just so much too know but as long as people are respectful I don't mind talking or expressing my views. I try and do the same for other people too. Listening to their views either raises questions that I now need to answer for myself or solidifies why I think a certain way.

Disrespect
Which leads to my post today. I find it completely okay to disagree with leaders, or to express opinions every once in a while of annoyance, it's understandable. Eventually though, you need to buck up and accept. I admit that I didn't vote for our President and don't agree with everything he does, BUT he is MY President, and as such, I will treat him with the respect he deserves. He has a huge role in leading our country. So, I get annoyed when people are CONSTANTLY disrespecting people online. Seriously grow up! It doesn't scream "Respect me and my opinion". If you have any desire to make a difference in this country, you need to realize that people can go back and look at every, and anything you ever did or said, and they can and WILL use it against you.

Disagreeing
So in conclusion, let's disagree! Seriously! But make sure that the people whose opinions you want to win over to your side, your not ticking off. They will start turning their ears anytime you start to talk and then your voice is lost. Keep the dialogue open, honest, and respectful. ;) You'll grow and learn so much more from other people.

Aight I said my peace and now I feel better.

P.S. Cute old man!
Leah and I helped out an old man the other day! He was walking up the stairs of the subway, fell backwards and we ran over to help him out. He was seriously the cutest man! Martin was 87, hunch-backed like none other and we had to walk him over to the side so he could have a smoke. He needed to go over one street and we obviously weren't going to leave him at this point. So he held TIGHTLY onto either of our arms as we walked. We were definitely those SLOW people walking in NYC, but people could see why, we got some smiles for our good deed and learned a lot about him. I should have gotten a picture of this precious man! That could be me one day and I'd want someone to have helped me out. Just thought I'd share

Inspiring

I'd like to apologize for my absence, I'm sure you were all truly sad without my thoughts.

A lot has been going on in the world and I start to question whether it has always been this crazy or if my recent position researching news all day enlightens me more than I ever really cared to be in the past. Alas, I just think it's a crazy year for news and although I feel very up-to-date, that's not it. Let's recap, Senate Gifford's attempted assassination, Egypt's revolution from Mubarak, everything in the middle east basically with Tunisia, Libya, and Sudan (and more) and now the Tsunami and Earthquake in Japan, the largest in at least a century.

Yet in all this, my job is to find happy pieces about people doing good work and surprisingly, they exist. There are so many people who want to help in every situation who are offering their talents, job, time, money selflessly and it makes me so proud. I've come across so many kids who are doing great things to raise money for Japan. I know when I was their age I cared and felt bad, but never thought to start a fundraiser or make buttons for people, yeah I sold whatever my craft was for the year (you may remember the ants for your pencil in 4th grade, the duck-tape purses in middle school, the hemp necklaces, the letter shirts for college, or the headbands) but I never thought of selling those crafts for other people and using my using the money to help people in need. The profit was usually for just for me.

I'm just seriously impressed with some of the youth today in our society. Yeah there are those kids who contribute nothing to society and are selfish individuals who have never given back, BUT there are also some really thoughtful kids and I've just been so inspired by them especially when some of them have gone through their own tragedies.

So, my question is, what have you done lately to help out someone in need? Whether it be donating your money to an organization you believe in (obviously research the company first!) or going on some volunteer trip, find something you can do to help out.

Some of my favorite memories from High School and Middle School were going on those trips to do service work. Helping others out is a great way to stay humble and realize how much you really have in this life.

Here are just some cool kids I've read stories about lately and their organizations

Hands 4 Others
Cupcakes for Cancer

http://articles.ocregister.com/2011-01-14/news/27031477_1_civil-war-namkung-promotions-george-namkung

http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2011/03/16/blind-l-i-high-school-student-wins-75k-in-science-competition/

http://www.waff.com/Global/story.asp?S=14256093

Literally I have pages upon pages of people doing good works.. these were just some of the recent. I just <3 people who care! 

Pounding the gavel

 When I was in High School, I was a bit of a judger and I knew it. I didn't like judging people but I just thought everyone was so stupid and their trivial high school relationship problems bored me and were so childish I thought. There was always someone crying over some boy and people mad at each other. Truthfully, that was just too much energy for me.

However, I knew that judging these people was wrong and I really worked to "understand" as opposed to to critic them.

A big difference for me was to realize that not everyone comes from your background. Not everyone has lived the way you have. Some have been put down their whole life and therefore feel the need to seek attention somewhere else. Others were always praised within their family and treated like a god as a child, therefore they act spoiled or like royalty thinking everything should revolve around them because it actually has most of their life.

For me, this realization allowed me to stop looking at other people and expecting them to act and agree and believe the same things I do. I was raised in a loving family and although I didn't always get along with my siblings I knew they cared, deep, deep down sometimes. But again, even the three of us grew up differently, around different friends, as either the oldest, middle, or youngest which does have an effect.

The reason I bring this up is to have you examine your own life. How were you raised? Who were your friends? Where did you live? Realize that a lot of the people you are constantly judging have been in completely different situations than you and you can't expect someone to "behave like a lady" if that's not the example they've had or the friends they grew up around. I just caution you against judging people in a way that you push everyone out of your life. Being around judgmental people is exhausting and it's hard because you never feel like you can open up to them about anything.

However, on the flip side, this doesn't give people the right to behave however they want. People always say to me "Don't judge me" or I hear "Do you think Liz will mind" because I have guidelines I live my life by. I may not "agree" with what you are doing, but I ask, why do you care so much if I approve of what your doing? If it is something you think is right or want to do, my thoughts on it shouldn't matter to you. That is unless my presence calls to attention that whatever you are doing or about to do, you actually think may be wrong and your subconscious cares. Otherwise, you should own your decisions. I don't drink and I am sure I've been judged by people. I am waiting till marriage for sex, and I KNOW I've been judged for that. However, I am not embarrassed or ashamed to be judged for either of those decisions because I own them and I don't care.

Ask yourself why you care so much what others think of the decisions you are making. If it's something you don't want  to be judged for, maybe it's that little voice in your head telling you, you shouldn't be doing it anyway.

I won't judge you because we've grown up completely different and I realize that, but why do you care so much what I, or anyone else, thinks? It's just what Liz wants to know?

PS FUNNY STORY INSERTED HERE:
Onto Friday's funny story that I never got around to posting.
The program I am in is gracious enough to buy us tickets for programs each month (actually we prepaid for them, but if your school has a swipe card, it's the same idea of it feels like your not paying, even though you totally already did).

Last month we got to go see Wicked and this month they got us tickets to a comedy show called Comedy Strip Live. Well our adviser sent the list of students that were attending and only 5 out of the 8 students were signed up (this is weird to me because they don't give you the money back and you basically already paid for it! Just go!). So one of the girls I was friends with I called and begged her to not back out and we agreed that we were gonna go and enjoy this. It's a good thing I called because we ended up getting a text that one of the other girls dropped out. Down to four people now, three girls and one guy who none of us really know.

So I call the one girl to see if she found a replacement for our extra ticket and she tells me that she thinks she's not going to go either now! So we have two extra tickets. Meanwhile me and Amanda are calling people like crazy trying to find someone to replace just one ticket, and now we have two.

We initially go around the floor and offer them to anyone, but it's a Friday night around 7:15, we are leaving in 15 minutes and everyone else already basically has plans. So I start venturing to the other floors. (5-11 are residential floors, I live on 6). I go up to the 7th floor and decide to just walk into every kitchen because that is less awkward than bathrooms and hopefully there are people cooking. I find a girl who is obviously doing hw and offer her the tickets but she says she doesn't think she would be available in time but appreciates the offer, aight next floor.

Next floor is a guys floor and I walk into the kitchen and see this couple making food. I offer them the tickets and he looks at her like, I wanna go but it's your decision. He asks "What do you think?" She very abruptly goes, "I don't think our food will be ready in time" Nothing else. So I leave.

Next floor up, no one.
Next floor, a sketchy character, no sketchy characters for us that night, no offer.
I think I make it all the way up to the 11th floor with no luck and instead of being healthy and just taking the stairs to the 6th I take the elevator, where a guy gets on and I very randomly, but fast (cuz I only have 3 floors!) ask him if him and a friend would want to go to a comedy club. I definitely caught him off guard but he baffled says he'd ask. So we go back up to his floor and he goes around asking 2 of his friends if they'd want to go. He was going to the gym and we are literally about to leave in like 15 mins.

He apologizes because none of his friends can go and I kindly tell him that if he finds someone to come let us know, I am in the devil room (or 666) and to find us.

So I sit in Amanda's room, calling people trying to figure out what to do and literally like 10 minutes later, the kid comes down and says his Spanish friend will go. hahaha So we found people to go with us, randomly as I gallivant around the de Hirsch center floors and elevator.

We ended up all having fun at the comedy club and his Spanish friend asked, so how do you guys all know each other, to which Amanda says, they just met on an elevator like 10 minutes ago. hahaha To funny. so here is to knew friends and to meeting them in odd places on a quest to not have tickets go to waste.

INteresting

Yes that is the term that describes last nights adventure and by adventure I mean a random night.

First off, the evening starting very low key for me with my friend Leah, some meringues, delivery food, and the movie Date Night. We were both tired and so we just chilled and watch movies and hung out. Always a good time. I left at like 11 and got back to my room around 11:40.

I popped my head into my neighbor Rachel's room b/c I knew her sis Maggie was visiting and I figured they were up to something. They were just laying in bed like bums on a Saturday night watching tv about to go to bed. So I sat and chatted for a bit just to say hey and see how their night was. Well, probably around 12 we decided to actually go out because it was a Saturday night, Maggie's friend wanted to see her and me and Rach just decided we were just gonna chill somewhere while Maggie said hey. (This was also a tactic because when she wanted to leave we were gonna call with some crisis so she could come save us from w/e our mental breakdown was going to be about where instead we were gonna save her... sneaky I know).

We have no idea where we are gonna go so Rachel and Maggie are txting ppl b/c Maggie's friend then decides me and Rach can probablly come but we don't know where they are or what stop to get off at or where to go, so we are destinationless, pretty much the theme of our night.

Getting dressed is obviously the most fun part of the night so we are borrowing each others clothes getting cute and just having fun looking through my tights (hehe) and trying on red lipsticks. I decide to bring my fur coat b/c this place we were going was supposedly hard to get in and why not go all out when you're going out.

We decided also that we were going to take on different personalities that night, and therefore I was Elizabeth Pearcy from England (obviously I went British) and Maggie was saying she could be Chinese, haha cuz she said she couldn't be anything else. So we were walking around talking in accents and being goofy, ppl were jealous of our sillyness.

We leave and walk to the metro and still don't know exactly where we are going.As we swipe in to the station Rach get's a txt that one of her friends is at a place called Molly's on 85th, we are currently at 96 and could have just walked there, but we were already swiped in, so we rode the subway one stop, very awesome, and walk into this place were probably about 20 ppl are. We are completely overdressed but they are playing awesome throwback songs. So we stay for like 10 mins while we decided our next move. However, as we try to leave the guy playing music is like "Why are you going, stay.. blah blah blah" and we said we look silly here (and I really just wanted to ppl watch and 20 ppl is not a good ppl watching spot) but he was like I play here every sat so come next time! He gave us his card and we exchanged numbers so he can let us know where and when he's playing again.

So now we are walking to the subway and I am remind you in a huge fur coat but busy staring at my phone and txting not paying attention. I guess two guys that were walking behind us were calling and asking for our autograph's but I seriously didn't hear anything. Funny however.

We get on the train and find out that we are getting off at Union Square to find this kid. We get off and realize he is at a place called Rosebud up on 21st and Lex, WE SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN OFF AT 23RD AND PARK! Stupid. So we are semi lost b/c there is no lexington around us (it doesn't technically exist till you get to 21st so we are wanding aimlessly trying to figure out where it is). We find it and this place and walk in finally (mind you I think it is like 1:30 at this point). We go in and there are ppl playng pool, candle's everywhere (hrm candle's and ppl who have been drinking NEVER made sense to me), a fireplace, and random groups everywhere. We sit down and meet Fiona, Kravasa (this is my best guess) and her friend Nick and another lady (who's a little out of it). We chill there and talk and make friends and then they decide to leave to go to some house party.

We are just following at this point and go to some house party but as we walk in and go up to the 8th floor (only 5 at a time on the elevator for our group of 6 tho?? Seriously??) We avoid the puke in the corner of the elevator and get up there. It's like crazy techno music and ppl are like swaying and it is an odd mix of ppl to say the lease. I can't tell what the mix is tho, it's all age ranges and it was like a blue lighting. We are not on the list (obviously because we just randomly got invited) and so they are asking us to pay $10, however, I am a cheepo and wanted food instead. So we are chilling around there and when the lady get's distracted by other ppl coming in we walk away and chill somewhere else, well she see's me (i'm in a leopard print coat and a headband, not really blending material) and says we need to pay. Kavasa get's her to let the three of us grl in for $20 instead of $30, but I still didn't want to pay to hang out at 3am at this point with ppl I didn't really know, at all. So we decide to leave.

As we come to the bottom of the stairs there are like 4/5 guys who are now going up. We walk out and literally one comes out like 4 seconds later asking us if we really are leaving and we said yes because we don't want to pay. Well he supposedly knows Roland (???? cuz that helps???) and he was going to try and get us to get back in. Well kavasa had already tried and we left, that lady was gonna givve us a stare down I just knew it. So I was asking this guy how he was going to get us in and being kind of confusing (probably like this blog) and he said it was too much thinking for him and we related our conversation to a test and he had to logically give us an explanation of how he was going to get us into this place fo free. It wasn't happening so instead we just said our goodbyes to this guy we didn't know and he gave us direction to a  place to eat instead.

At this point, we are laughing just by the evening and how random it had been and Maggie goes, ya all we need is to be followed by a crack addict now... SerIOUSLY!). I thankfully have had my MACE in my hand all night as we walked and said if that happened I had us covered. So we turn the corner and who is there but two guys calling  to us and they start walking behind us and yelling very inappropriate things to ladies. So we walk fast and leave and laugh because now we were followed.

As we get to Union Square we see an accident had happened and there are like a bunch of police cars and ambulance and firetrucks and we are like this would be happening! So we just go to our train.

Rachel Decides to sit down on the steps and I said I wouldn't b/c knowing me I was going to sit in gum and the guy behind her on the steps is like "what's wrong with sitting down" (in an accent) we find out he is from Ireland (after we guess from 2xs). We have a nice conversation with him about our evenings and about how he doesn't drink coffee only tea or I think it was Irish coffee? I don't remember, but it was just random.

Our Sub comes and we get on and add Irish man to the list of Character's for the night. then we realize the two guys across from us have like a million keys on a huge lock. They are going through them and we just amazed that he has been carrying that around with him all night b/c it looks to be about 20 lbs. He sees us staring or maybe one of us said something about the amount of keys and now we are getting an explanation of all the keys and why he has them (keys to his old apartment which he tried to give back, keys to a storage unit he went to, also where the lock from from, keys for locking his computer, keys for his aparment, and probably something else). Well we start talking about what he does and the evening and he ended up seeing that crash and had taken pictures! He showed us them and it was a cab that crashed into a light pole which fell down, seriously wicked scary. So now we are making friends with the guys across from us and as we leave they jokingly ask us for our autographs on their phones b/c we had started to explain our night, but we leave.

As we leave we notice two creepy guys who had been being creepy on the sub too. We wait for them to leave and walk out of the metro and I grab my mace again. We leave and they are walking in front of us, so we walk quietly and behind them until they walked in their building and then we make it back to our room and crash for the evening.

Yes so this all happened between a night of just chillen and then randomly deciding to go out at midnight. We got back around 4am (Sorry mom don't be mad!! There were a ton of people I was safe cuz police men where everywhere and I had my Mace!) and then we went to bed.

So yes. NYC, the City that never sleeps.

Another funny story from Friday night coming later. To tired to write about it right now!! (PS Rachel and Maggie, let me know if I forgot anything!!!)

Persistence/Expectations/Rules for going out for guys.

I am blessed with a pretty sweet named internship which will be not mentioned in blogs. However, I had been pretty dissappointed with my responsibilities solely being research on a computer for 32 hrs a week. I know this is silly because I am an INTERN by definition it means boring pointless work. I had just hoped I would learn a lot from this particular company and would get to experience other areas within the company. Well that wasn't happening and around week 4/5 I was getting anxious and was asking to do other things. After annoying my employeer a little too much about it, my wise father said I should probably back off and stop asking for a while, which I did.

So a week or two had passed and I decided to give my mind fully to the project have a good attitude and just try to be a good worker and not ask anymore. I found a story the other week and was following up with the character of the story. It was really exciting because it was the first time they had seemed like a story of mine might work.

This week, I finished talking with the character and submitted a  paragraph explaining the story and I think they are going to pass it along! Now that still doesn't mean it is going to be a story, but it's the furthest I've gotten with all but one other story. I just need to remember NOT to have expectations b/c when I do, I am always disappointed because as I was told, I am an optimistic person and always envision the best.

So besides that story, on Tuesday I got to go out on a shoot, something different and it was SOOO fun, plus I got to interview two kids for part of a story. I was so thankful that they let me do that because it means she trusts me and even though they didn't use the footage due to time constraints, it was still awesome and I felt lucky. THEN, on Thursday I found three other stories! One they had submitted (which was cool b/c it meant I was on the right track) and the other two they were going to call the people about...

So in short summary, persistence pays off. You may HATE what your doing, want more/less responsibility, but remember that God is your boss and he has assigned you this task. My devotional for yesterday (which oddly ties in now that I think about it) Matthew 25:23 "Well done my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you more responsibilities". So remember not only your persistence in serving God, but in your work, once he sees you can be grateful for the little responsibilities and you finally stop complaining like a whining baby and just do the task, you will be rewarded. So that's my little Lesson for the week. My changed attitude and new energy to research paid off, or they are just trying to encourage me and the stories still stink, either way I feel better and I am finally okay with this experience.

AIGHT, now the serious talk. BOYS, THIS IS RULES FOR YOU WHEN GOING OUT.
Okay, so girls obviously are all different and how are you to know who wants to dance and who doesn't?? Well first, look at their ring finger, if they have a ring, AVOID, it either means they are ALREADY TAKEN, or have strategically placed a ring there to have others avoid them (ME).

If there is a large group of girls that seem to be all dancing together, never separating and ALWAYS around each other, it is usually a defense mechanism so they can have a spotter from all angels of the dance floor, in case you try to move in then a "save" can take place...

Explanation of a "SAVE"- you start walking towards us to dance, a friend pulls the girl away, either pushes your hands away or changes positions with her, or the group surrounds, or basically anything to avoid you. This is not to give you a challenge and does not mean she really wants to dance, it means GET AWAY CREEP! Don't bother her and her friends the rest of the night b/c they have already labeled you a creep if you persist to try and dance with them (in opposition to my early enthusiasm for persistence, this is considered stalking and not a good persistence)

I know you are now thinking to yourself, Well why are you out at a dancer club then??? And my response would be, because dancing is fun, dancing with you is not. I am a better dancer and I don't like to have to compromise to dance w/you. Plus I don't know you, and if I did, you would realize I am not the kind of girl that likes dancing with people. I like a little circle of free space all around me so I can do as I please, w/o you. So leave me alone! If you want to dance, we can ballroom dance because then I don't feel uncomfortable, or interpretive dance because you know a guy can be your friend if he can dance silly. face to face.

This is just out of experiences me and my friends have had. So know when you're being a creep and lay off and leave.

What you've been waiting for

"Boys, boys, boys, we like boys in cars" - Oh Lady Gaga.

On Sunday I went to the Met with three of my friends on the floor, we jokingly assigned three of us numbers so we can yell it out when we saw a guy who "fit our type" physically. However, for me, you can be the most attractive man on the planet, but it doesn't mean I'm going to like you. I am a picky individual (and I think others should be too!) when it comes to guys. Why settle for someone who treats you bad, has a bad personality, and has no goals for life. These are just a few things that are turn offs, but for me the hardest attributes to find come with the biggest non-negotiable. My faith. I've had people in the past question this and why it is so important, but lets examine this in all aspects of my life. I tithe 10% of my income, I'm sure if I married someone who didn't have a faith, they probably wouldn't like this idea when money gets tight. How about how you raise your children? Do they go to church with mom on Sunday or stay home with dad? Nope not dealing with that. Or how about when I need a strong Christian male in my life to keep me grounded, well that's kind of hard if you aren't. Ah, and another big dilemma for me living together before your married, Sorry if I'm old fashioned, but no. So you see, this is non-negotiable. Beyond just finding someone who is grounded (or at least is on that journey), I have a few other non-negotiable that more and more seem like these are going to be difficult to find. I know other may not agree with me on this one, but I refuse to have any form of alcohol in my house, ever, I don't think it's a good way to inspire your kids to not drink if you're throwing back a few at dinner. Paul states in 2 Corinthians 6:3  "We put no stumbling block in anyone’s path, so that our ministry will not be discredited." and in 1 Corinthians 8: 9 "Be careful, however, that the exercise of your rights does not become a stumbling block to the weak." and in Ephesians 1:4 "Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes" calling us to be holy. Well people ask me all the time why I don't drink and here you get the answer! I don't drink because God calls me to be holy and this is one way in which I have CHOSEN to "set apart" myself from the rest of society. I don't think anything good comes from alcohol (not even socially, by not drinking I've learn how to hang out with people and meet people sober, it is possible) ever. period. Sorry this is just my honest opinions. So therefore, I don't want to marry a guy who drinks and I don't want to marry someone who swears but who agrees to wait till marriage for sex because that is one "gift" that I can give only him one day. Plus, I have to be attracted to him. I know this just sounds like a list of impossible qualities to find in one person, BUT I KNOW that he exists because God has promised me in Psalms 37:4  "Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart." Therefore, I have faith and walk in this direction, not giving into society and all of it's downfalls. I hold on strong to what I believe and I wait, because through patience, I know one day, I'll meet him, and I can say, I waited for HIM, no one else. It always reminds me of a Rebecca St. James song that I use to listen to when I was like 10. So now you all know what is important to me when it comes to guys, yeah I want to be attracted to him, but I'm gonna be honest, the most attractive thing to me is when a guy is totally sold out to God. When I'm at a church service and I see a guy around all his other male friends and he raises his hands and could care less what they think, he automatically becomes 20x more handsome. Just saying. and know you all REALLY now What Liz Wants. ;)

Song Below 
Wait for me- Rebecca St. James

R.E.S.P.E.C.T. find out what it means to me.

I know we all "think" we are respectful individuals, but come on, you know that is NOT the case. For instance, when things aren't going your way, do you scuff and scowl or suck it up and act polite? I know a lot of people would call this "sucking up" but hey, sometimes it's better than to act like a brat and have people not respect you. Think about it. I know we all like to have our sarcasm and be our loud mouth self, Hey we are just being ourselves! However, if that "loud mouth" person is someone interrupting OUR quiet time or being obnoxious, well then it's just not cool. Remember, people are always around and ALWAYS watching you and your actions whether you think it's their business or not. There is a way to disagree politely, or when you believe you have been treated wrong, walk away, thank the person for their time and act like it was no big deal. They will either feel bad for being so rude, appreciate your ability to look past their rudeness (if they are having a bad day), or they won't care at all, but at least you were the bigger person. I get flax for being a suck up, but I don't have many people that outright hate me (that I know of) and I get a lot of what I want by just being nice and respecting people who require it. It really does take your further in life. So you can hold on to your attitude and possibly get what you want; or you can be nice and respectful and have people notice you. This isn't to say you have to AGREE but instead of doing the whole eye roll when someone is talking to you, you can say oh I see what you're saying, or state your opinion separately. I personally hate being around people who are out right rude all the time to everyone: servers, their boss, family members, friends: it is embarrassing because you just want to escape and pretend like you are not with them. Fortunately a lot of my friends know the difference and I understand venting or being annoyed at people, but being rude ALL the time is completely different. This is just a thought of mine, one of my favorite quotes is "Let us treat men and women well; treat them as if they were real. Perhaps they are." Ralph Waldo Emerson. Think about it. Eh, it's just what Liz wants.

warm weatherrrrrrr

This is an easy to understand post if you live anywhere where your winter is longer than every other season and never seems to end. However, this past week NYC received a gift from mother nature and the weather was almost 60 on Friday PLUS I had the day off! With this I went and explored Chinatown, ate in Little Italy and enjoyed a night out on the town all while soaking up that vitamin D I was missing in my life. Saturday, thinking that this awesome weather would continue, I went to Soho to walk around. At first the day started off fab because I returned $63 worth of things I didn't need and I was lookin fresh (Insert first story at the bottom of how I know this). However, It ended up being SUPER cold towards the end of the day and then I just got super cranky because I was hungry didn't know where my train was and really cold. I hate that the weather does this! You see for me,  I feel as though I haven't been really living up exploring NYC while I'm here. Everyone keeps saying of it sounds like you're having a blast or everything looks so cool, but in reality I feel like I'm slacking at truly experiencing NYC because I'm so cold all of the time! I mean as I write this I am in a Borders about 6 streets from me (streets are shorter than avenue walking) but I had to must up all of my will to walk here and do hw (which I'm obviously not doing now) to come here. I am just ready for the weather to get nice again so I can roam around in the warm weather. I know you don't need warm weather, just a good attitude, but I HATE being cold. I'm so tempted to move south and get away from this weather but then more than half of my wardrobe would be useless and I don't have the kind of money (obviously if I'm returning things) to buy a whole new wardrobe, although it would be fun. So I hope that, that groundhog was not lying and this warm weather is coming otherwise I am not only going to get extremely sick from this weather flip-flopping, but I'm gonna get cranky. This is a "duh" post for all of you who live in the Snow Belt or cold areas, I just think the rest of the world needs to try to understand our pain, literally, the pain of wind burn on my face. "Why no, I my skin tone is not red, it is just from the windburn outside that likes to turn me into a tomato"

1.) Story from above. So at the Gap I had to return a shirt that i realize I didn't actually like (part of that 63 back) and I realize in line that I had forgotten my real recipte, instead I brought the "use this online and get take our survey" recipte. I was like, ohhh i hope they still will take this because I don't want to walk back! Well I was wearing my red, buff and green headband, a green shirt my big leopard print coat, jeans and moccasins, but I changed up my make up and did a bright red lip with very simple eyes, for all you males,  you don't care I know. But anyways I get to the front of the line finally and the lady at the cash register was awesome. She was like "Oh yeah we can just look you up and return that, Oh and that guy in front of you isn't he so cute, he is just so handsome (there was some guy who returned stuff ahead of me but I wasn't really paying attention). Oh and he's single, and he lives in the area, but that's all I can tell you" (picture a short little lady saying this with great inflection). I was laughing because she kept going on about how cute he was and how single he was. Anyway I'm laughing and go to leave and a guy that works there as I'm leaving says that he loves my outfit and that I look just so trendy right now. Well I'm obviously loving this so I just leave in a good mood loving the Gap and it's employees for being so fun. I go onward and these ladies on the subway comment on my lipstick and how much they love my make up and everything. Then I get to soho and a lady outside of some store compliments my headband and I tell her I made it myself! I seriously loved exploring that day and that is all that made exploring and going out worth it because the weather stunk. It was so fun, so compliment people because you could make their day! Seriously! DO IT! hahah

So in conclusion, What Liz Wants is warm weather and compliments from strangers, it's so fun! haha

Famous?

Hey hey, do you wanna be famous?
Everywhere you go people know what your name is
Everyone you know tryina tell ya you changing
They wanna taste that fame, fame fame fame fame

B.O.B. Fame 

I've had a really awesome opportunity to volunteer for some cool things where I've gotten to see celebrities. Originally all I thought was, (in this order) a.) OMG THERE THEY ARE HOW COOL!! b.) man those flashes from the lights r so stinkin bright! c.) Dude, that's gotta be annoying to not be able to just sit there d.) I actually think I would hate to be them

I know that seems random and today I was reminded that they signed up for that and they go to these events specifically for the publicity, but I'm sure not all celebs "signed up for that" and that's where my thoughts come in today. 

We all THINK we want to be famous and this includes me until recently. You think about all the cool things, like having money to do with what you please and give where you want; you think of all the cool clothes and places they get to travel to and having a personal trainer since none of us know what we're doing at the gym and we (or I) wimp out when I'm too tired or bored. However, there is another side to this celeb thing. At other jobs you get to "check in check out" as my mom says about nursing. When your done, you can leave you work there and come home, relax and enjoy your family. You don't get that as a celeb. You are constantly being watching for failures and slip ups. Again, I know they probably knew what they were getting into and some probably enjoy it, but it can't be easy to raise a family when the camera's constantly want to photograph your child and everything about it's life. 

The reason I bring all this up is to question how content you are with your own life. I think a lot of us fantasize about being "famous" because it is an escape from where we are and it is a hope of having no restraints, but there are restraints, if not more so in their life. Being content is probably the greatest and most understated characteristic. I know this from experience. In elementary school I couldn't wait to be in middle school, middle school to high school and in high school, I hated it so much that I did post secondary and could wait to go to college. Now I am in college and I have slowly been learning to be content with where I am at (granted in certain things). Like I love college and don't want to graduate but at the same time, I'm always anxious about my next step to get to my future career (w/e that ends up being). Instead of enjoying being here in NYC, I'm constantly thinking and fretting about my next step (summer?!?!?!) and what I need or should be doing to prepare, and then next fall what should I do and then where should I look to apply for a "real job" after college? I know it is good to be prepared and to take action, but if we (or I) constantly focus on what's next, we are going to miss all of the great things happening right now around us and when we die, the only "what's next" is our future with or without God and what will we have to show if we are always living in the future and not looking at the opportunities or blessings he's giving us right here. 

So stop thinking that the grass is always greener on the other side, because I'd hate to just want to go out for a dinner with my family and always have to bring along a body guard, my sunglasses (in the dead of winter) driver and probably 50 other people to (or at least to let them know) so I can slip in and slip out. Their life may be glam and fun to look at but don't fixate on what they have and on your determination to "make it" in society so you can get to that next step. Enjoy where you're at and what your doing today, or you're going to miss things, like the crazy lady on the bus today. (insert crazy lady with a mean mug and random yellings after she awkwardly stretched her back here, seriously she was probably a mental patient or should have been). What liz wants, is for you to smile, and enjoy the day, WHERE ever  you are at. You can't reach level three in life without completing level two, so (in reference to mario) make sure you're grabbing all the gold coins because you can't go back to that level once you pass it!

Happiness

It is Valentine's Day. Everyone out there that is single is probably crying over how stupid the holiday is. But that depends on how you define the four little letter word that this day is all about. Love. I have friends who have always been in a relationship and feel as though they NEED it. I am the complete opposite. I have never been in a serious relationship and I've never hated Valentine's Day because I'm single. Actually I love it! My parents always remind me they love me and I always have good friends around that we do fun stuff with. Think about this. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines love at " a (1) : strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties <maternal love for a child> (2) : attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers (3) : affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests <love for his old schoolmates>" However, as I read my devotional this morning, it reminded me that love always is defined like this..."There is no greater love than to lay down one's life for one's friend" John 15:13. We are all to quick to associate Valentine's day love with the second definition from the dictionary forgetting that love also is a deep commitment not always based on your "feelings". Remember, Jesus Christ showed us the greatest kind of love, so don't fret over being Valentine-less in the sense of a significant other. Be greatful for the people in your life that DO love you and remind others that you love them, just one human being to another. Hey if you don't have a significant other, instead of taking this day and pouting and being selfish find someone who really is having a hard time, like maybe someone homeless, in a bad life situation, or in need of encouragement, and show them love, based on the God's definition of love. Just a thought. I'm just tired of people complaining about Valentine's Day, you get chocolate and you can make the day mean whatever you want it to mean. It's just what Liz wants. 

a positve outlook

I am a bit of a complainer. Okay, I LIKE to complain and I always justify it by saying that I'm just "venting". No I am complaining and I wish I knew why I did this so much. My dad is great at keeping me in check and telling me to stop acting like a baby, which I appreciate, it's nice to know that I can count on him to always tell what I need to hear, not necessarily want to hear. I was really thinking about this last night because I realize I was probably sounding ungrateful to people around me and I realized that I was letting my expectations for a situation control my mood and attitude. So I found a verse  in the Bible (what I usually do when I know I need to work on something) and I brought it around with me all day; Ephesians 4:29 "Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them." My goal today was to be positive, thankful, smile a lot, and try to make other people feel good. I think I succeeded for the most part, I had a new energy at my internship that I had lost recently and I felt energized all day. I need to remember that I may not necessarily always like WHAT I'm doing but I need to show that I am grateful for the opportunity. It's kind of funny to because that verse combined with my devotional for the day (which talked about love "Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sings" 1 Peter 4:8) helped me be positive all day. One of the producers commented that I was always smiling which in retrospect was God telling me to keep on keeping on with this attitude, not my whoa is me I am so unfortunate tude. I realize that if everyone just had a positive attitude in life, things would be great, people would be nice, and the little things wouldn't seem to matter as much because it wouldn't be the last link in sweater that just unraveled. We would be able to keep our emotions in check and not let the whole sweater unravel so we end up being rude, down, mean or any other negative term towards other people. So what Liz wants if for people to really grab a hold of being positive for a day, truly seriously positive, and see if it makes a difference in their attitude.

Unplugged

Funny stories for today.. this is just what I saw, heard and experienced.

Sub ride back from Erica's - A lady and her son were sitting next to me and I heard her telling her son she was lucky that the police came because she would beat that women up. She also said something along the lines of about how she was telling other people how would they know, maybe her son has a gun, how do they know he wouldn't pull it out. Seriously, this mom was crazy. Her son was just laughing, I was laughing at them. I had to zip my coat up past my mouth so I could giggle underneath it. Well for that and because...

Same ride- Across from them where these three girls who got on the sub and wanted to sit next to each other, they asked this guy to move over but he shook his head in what seemed to be a no sentence. So this girl is talking over him asking, did he really just say no to scooting over, now I'm just gonna talk over him and be obnoxious. The crazy mom sitting next to me was laughing and saying that she doesn't know if he understood her. This girl is being crazy loud and like "No he understood he shook his head no, I can't believe he wouldn't just move over!" (he is sitting right next to her and he obviously has no clue what's going on!) Finally she stands up and asks again, the gentleman looks to the guy on my other side who makes the "move to your left" swoosh with his hands and the guy moves over. The lady on my right thinks she is the one who got him to move. People, this poor guy had no idea what was going on and he was being yelled at by these crazy girls! I was seriously laughing so hard on my ride home.

MOVIES!

     Being in NYC has been good for me. Not necessarily how I pictured it would be because I always have expectations and I need to realize that is NEVER a good thing. You think NYC and you see glitz glamour and really great opportunities that could never happen in Ohio. Although this is true in certain sense, I am realizing that is not why I here. I am in NYC to learn how to work with people who are different than me, grow up and mature in myself and to come to grips with what I want in life. Now for those of you that know me, you know I am a high moral bar for myself but I also love film and the world of Hollywood, which to me, doesn't go together. However, while at my internship I am realizing that the direction of film and directing is my passion and I really think I have a calling in that direction more so than where I am at. I needed to be placed in this environment so I would learn not to settle for what I thought I could do as opposed to what I want to do. You always hear, go for your dream! I always said I would, but in the back of my head I felt that it was to lofty for me to try, maybe someone else, but not me. More and more I am realizing that I am in NYC to get out of this complacency in life and to decide once and for all that I am gonna try and do this. I keep reading stories through my research about strong women who work at the head of their companies, started their own, or now started a non profit and the only difference I see is that they had confidence and went for it and I am scared. Well I am going to get over that and decide that this is what I want.
     Coming to grips with this also has it's roots deep into WHY I want to direct films. I want to help create films that have positive morals and films that are real, that show life as it truly is with the consequences that do exist for people's actions. Too many movies show these CRAZY circumstances and the protagonist of the story always gets away with what ever illegal thing they did, I think children and people need to see life as it really is. See real heroes. So that is my passion within film. People may tell me "well that's not what the consumer wants to see" but I don't buy that. I've meet plenty of people who have encouraged me and said that is exactly what they need. Does the audience decide what the studios create or does the studios create  what the audience wants? Who is influencing who? Are you to tell me that they wanted to go from the Cosby show to Nip Tuck? I think we are passive consumer's and therefore the studio get away with putting crap on our television's and at our theaters. What Liz Wants, is to change that.

Unplugged

what happens when you pay attention to people

This section will be dedicated to riding the public transportation in my life w/o headphones and the people/stories/things I've experienced. Granted I've only been riding for 1 month, but I've already meet cool people.. So this will be a recap thus far

-Bus to work, A guy who used to represent Johnny Cash and who owns three restaurants in NYC, he was a super nice guys and so friendly. PS the company he worked for now represents The Kardashians, two guys bought it from him and his business partners.

-Bus back from work- A guy who has traveled all around and lived in Argentina, he was giving me good jazz clubs and places to visit whilst I was here.

-Sub back from Church- A family who had 2 children. Both adorable. The little boy had a Charlie doll (on Disney, Charlie and Lola). The mom didn't know that people here watched that, thought it was just a British thing but I quickly told her, O no mam, I am obsessed with Disney and know all the shows! He also had a little Whinnie the Pooh in a bunny costume. They were adorable. The little girl stood up and started unzipping her coat to show me her pretty dress and tights(which I said was soo pretty), this resulted in the little boy turning around to me to show me his nice dress shirt underneath. They also told me their names and age and were a breath of fresh air from all the snobby children in the world. Loved them and the family.

-Sub back from Brooklyn- I was reading a book by Sidney Lumet called "Making Movies" and this couple walked on. He was obviously upset about something and I was trying not to easedrop even though they were right in front of me and he was sitting next to me. However, I clearly heard her say something about how God will take care of his (obviously I heard that) to which I looked up and nodded my head. He said he knew God would, but was still just down. They asked me what I was reading and asked if I wanted to make movies, so I explained my dream and they were so encouraging telling me how it is nice to know that people still have morals and want to create movies with good honest content. We joked about MTV's new show "Skins" which DOES NOT represent anything real in my High School days, although they said it is supposed to. They told me I had pretty eyes and were so encouraging and seriously adorable. Never got their names, but they were awesome, young and they made me smile.

Weightless doesn't equal worthiness

      It's funny how certain situations can make you feel inept. Today, I was in one of those situations. I found myself in the midst of a fashion icon feeling totally and completely incompetent in my dark blue jeans and casual attire around all these tall, thin, models and workers. I am not one to have low self esteem, but in situations such as these, it's hard not to when all you think is "if only i was skinnier, taller, tanner, (the list goes on)" Every women I feel like deals with these issues and yet we encourage them. Yes we all read and talk about all the articles that discuss not having anorexic models, or making actresses more "normal" (w/e that is), yet we are all trying to find the next diet or the next detox system. Why can't we just be happy being ourselves? I am not pointing a finger at anyone because this is a call to me as well. Why did I let this bother me? Why was my first though "I need to lose weight"? I work out regularly, I eat healthy, and I take care of my body (as in I don't drink/smoke/do drugs) so why do I let them get to me so much? Now imagine a girl 10 years younger than me, no wonder our teenage girls have such self esteem issues. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying over indulge, you have to be healthy but because I will never be a size 2 in my life doesn't mean I am not healthy. It seems like being skinny is everything to women these days and I would like being healthy to be our main focus. I’ve always been concerned about how I looked because I want to be in film and TV and always thought I would never get in so I just obsessed instead of doing anything. This beauty thing really gets to people and what Liz wants, if for women, girls, and people of every background to be healthy, not skinny.

What Liz Wants; the beginning

    Well, I read a blog the other day called "What men want" and I decided, well I could have written that! So I decided that I am witty and funny and people probably want to know what women want since they are always complaining about how we are confusing and what not. Well, as I started thinking, I realized, I am NOT most, if not almost all Women, I am unique and therefore I cannot speak for ALL women, just me; hence why this is entitle what LIZ wants. Much more correct. So today I will start with a unique topic, the subway.
     I want people for one day to ride the subway (or public transportation in general) without their electronics. Ladies, we always complain how hard it is to meet men or a nice guy outside of scenes that aren't conducive for quality males. We always hear about "well me and your mom meet... blah blah blah" and it is usually in some public random place. It is quiet impossible to meet people like "the olden days" if we are all consumed in our music/games/facebook/twitter and the list goes on. No one will ever approach you or talk to you when you seem to not care because you can are so consumed by a product. I mean just the other day I met a lady who said she met her husband at the gym, I'm pretty sure I just listen to music and avoid eye contact with everyone there... Hey this is just a thought. The last two times I decided to put my MP3 player (yes I don't have an Ipod, I am rebelling economically) away on the bus, I met an older gentleman who represented Johny Cash and whose business was bought by two gentlemen who now represent the Kardashians. Seriously. Imagine if I had my headphones in and ignored him completely, I wouldn't have had such a fun conversation with this man. Anyway, this is just what Liz wants, who knows if anyone agrees.